1st Anniversary

One year ago today this site launched to little fanfare. While a few things have changed since then, that little fanfare has remained constant. Over the past year a lot of things have happened in the world, and time and mood permitting, we have attempted to discuss a few of them. More often than not, they really didn’t warrant discussion. So, what was happening on January 31, 2013 that was so important that this little chunk of the interweb was birthed?  Here are a few of them:

·         Egypt’s $1.5 Billion U.S. Aid Questioned Amid Crackdown

·         China’s (Fake) Gay Marriage Debate

·         Subsidies for Saints Owner Open New Orleans to Super Bowl

·         L.A. School District Sued Over Sexual Abuse of Students

·         J.C. Penney Aims to Win Trust With ‘Elsewhere’ Prices

·         AT&T Gave Obama Inaugural $3 Million, Awaits Airwave Sale

·         High Winds Spread Air Travel Delays Throughout the Northeast

·         Are China’s Hackers Preying on Journalist E-Mail Habits?

·         Mobs Wrecked Confederate Capital as Lee Left: Lewis Lapham

·         Ethanol Strengthens to Gasoline as EPA Proposes Targets

·         Las Vegas Sands Rises as Macau Casino Results Beat Forecasts

·         U.S. Auto Sales Seen Rising on Post-Crisis Lease Renewals

·         Hostess Chooses Apollo, Metropoulos as Lead Bidder

·         NFL Sees Modest Revenue Growth as Sponsors Stay Shaky on Economy

·         Biggest IPO Since Facebook Tests Pfizer’s Pigs and Dogs Strategy

·         Cayman Sea Turtles Endure Slaughter, Tourists: Commentary

·         Dells Pledge $50 Million to Build Austin Medical School

·         Sex Impossible for Most Men After Prostate Therapy

·         Dissident Cuban Blogger Gets Passport After Castro Eases Rules

But for some reason I thought I needed to waste your time and mine with this garbage. I hope to continue with more of the same.

Croc Attack!

Police have found evidence that "strongly indicates" a 12-year-old boy who was witnessed being snatched by a crocodile in a remote part of Australia was killed in the attack. Apparently this is news because everyone was expecting that the crocodile had simply taken the boy hostage and would be demanding a ransom.

In a statement, the police said they would not be specifying the “type of evidence located out of respect for the family." So, by dancing around the subject we are left to assume that they have found body parts around the water hole. Or maybe one vital body part. Or maybe a hunter killed a crocodile and when they cut it open they found another crocodile inside, and when they cut that crocodile open they found the boy inside. By not telling what they found, the police leave a lot to the imagination.  They have turned what should be a sad story into a Choose Your Own Adventure. That’s probably more disrespectful to the family than just coming out and saying that the crocodile ate the boy.

And at the end of the article, in a weird “if you enjoyed this story, you’ll also like…” cross promotion, CNN links you to two more Australian wild animal stories:

Australian boy says kangaroo saved him

Coroner rules dingo to blame for Australian baby's death

In a case of life imitating art, all of these stories have parallels to the Hollywood movies Lake Placid, Kangaroo Jack and A Cry in the Dark.

If anyone was offended by today’s entry, let me go ahead and apologize now for referring to Kangaroo Jack as “art.”

I love you so much…

...that I am signing up for a one-way ticket to Mars.

That’s basically what Ken Sullivan has told his wife, Becky. Ken is in a group of a thousand or so finalists for the Mars One project that could send him to the red planet permanently in about 10 years. Ken and Becky have been married five years and have four children, and that has apparently pushed Ken to the limit. He has decided that life on a desolate planet (or perhaps in a space capsule) is preferable to the little slice of heaven he carved out for himself here on Earth.

Obviously, things are a little rocky in this relationship. But Ken is a man of his word who views his wedding vows as a verbal commitment to his partner. They are, in both moral and legal senses, a binding contract. So he is going to ride this rocky patch out and fulfill his commitment to his wife, albeit from a planet 140 million miles away.

His wife is not really on the same page. “The question is do we get divorced now or get divorced later,” Becky told The Salt Lake City Tribune. Way to bail on your marriage at the first sign of a rough patch, especially when she seems to feel like her husband being on Mars wouldn’t be that much different than normal. “He already works out of town, so we’re used to the long-distance thing, but it would be hard when he doesn’t come home after awhile. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t leave my kids, but I’ve spent every day with them, and he doesn’t, so I guess it’s different,” Becky told the Tribune, who Becky seems to think is her own personal marriage counselor.

This will give him the possibility to do something significant with his life. According to Ken, he sees this as a chance to explore, “and the opportunity to do something no one has ever done before, and making a name for myself would be nice to do.” Now you can start to see why Ken is so desperate to get out of Dodge. He has hooked his wagon to a shrill, petty harpy. He woke up one morning and realized he was Witness Protection-era Henry Hill… he gets to live the rest of his life as a schnook. But now he has found his escape.

Godspeed Ken Sullivan.

Excuse me while I pull my hair out

The baseball Hall of Fame is a joke, its election process is a farce, and anyone who tries to defend it is a moron. Now that I have that off my chest, let me attempt to explain why I feel that way.

(Empty your bladder before proceeding)