Paul McCartey fell ill and was hospitalized during his Asian tour, forcing him to cancel some shows in Tokyo. This can obviously be blamed on Yoko Ono.
Carry on.
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Disturbed
A rapper has apparently cut off his penis and jumped off a building. Unfortunately, it was nobody from the Black Eyed Peas. According to reports Andre Johnson, AKA Christ Bearer of Wu-Tang affiliation, was rushed to the hospital early Wednesday after he cut off his penis and then jumped off a second story balcony in what police believe was a suicide attempt.
This immediately raises a chicken/egg question. Is it more likely that he cut off his penis for some strange reason and then decided with no more penis there is no real reason to live, or did he think that since he has chosen to kill himself that it might be funny to leave a penis behind as some sort of bizarre prank on his roommate (likely RZA, but possibly Ghostface Killah)? That is a question that was already going to keep me up for days, if not weeks. But then Radio.com has to drop this nugget on me:
So not only do I now have to wonder about the order in which the decisions of one Christ Bearer occurred prior to him falling penisless from a second story balcony, but now I have to ponder the merits of reattaching his unit.
Scenario 1:
Someone finds Mr. Bearer splattered on the sidewalk around 1am and calls paramedics. They find that he has cut his penis off but decide that keeping him alive is more important. The paramedics and doctors work tirelessly to save his life. After a few weeks in a coma, he wakes up to find he is alive. He never planned this. He wanted to die. So now he’s alive with a giant hospital bill staring him in the face. Oh, and he has no penis. He’s probably going to be looking for a fourth story balcony in short order, which makes everyone’s work pointless.
Scenario 2:
Doctor’s realize that a man without his crank is not really of use to anyone, so (provided they can locate it), they decide the most important thing to do is to get that penis reattached… STAT! They work meticulously through the early morning hours to ensure that the appendage is seamlessly rejoined only to find out that their patient died two hours earlier from massive head trauma.
So it appears that there aren't too many merits in either saving his life or reattaching his penis. The man was obviously having an identity crisis. We all saw what torment Jan Brady went through, and she was simply the middle of three girls. Imagine what it must be like to be lost in a crowd of 50, 60, or even 100 Wu-Tang members.
This immediately raises a chicken/egg question. Is it more likely that he cut off his penis for some strange reason and then decided with no more penis there is no real reason to live, or did he think that since he has chosen to kill himself that it might be funny to leave a penis behind as some sort of bizarre prank on his roommate (likely RZA, but possibly Ghostface Killah)? That is a question that was already going to keep me up for days, if not weeks. But then Radio.com has to drop this nugget on me:
“There’s also no word on whether or not doctors have attempted to reattach his penis.”
So not only do I now have to wonder about the order in which the decisions of one Christ Bearer occurred prior to him falling penisless from a second story balcony, but now I have to ponder the merits of reattaching his unit.
Scenario 1:
Someone finds Mr. Bearer splattered on the sidewalk around 1am and calls paramedics. They find that he has cut his penis off but decide that keeping him alive is more important. The paramedics and doctors work tirelessly to save his life. After a few weeks in a coma, he wakes up to find he is alive. He never planned this. He wanted to die. So now he’s alive with a giant hospital bill staring him in the face. Oh, and he has no penis. He’s probably going to be looking for a fourth story balcony in short order, which makes everyone’s work pointless.
Scenario 2:
Doctor’s realize that a man without his crank is not really of use to anyone, so (provided they can locate it), they decide the most important thing to do is to get that penis reattached… STAT! They work meticulously through the early morning hours to ensure that the appendage is seamlessly rejoined only to find out that their patient died two hours earlier from massive head trauma.
So it appears that there aren't too many merits in either saving his life or reattaching his penis. The man was obviously having an identity crisis. We all saw what torment Jan Brady went through, and she was simply the middle of three girls. Imagine what it must be like to be lost in a crowd of 50, 60, or even 100 Wu-Tang members.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Madison Rising
People are saying they performed the worst national anthem ever.
They are obviously just saying that because they hate black people...
...and hillbillies...
They are obviously just saying that because they hate black people...
...and hillbillies...
Monday, August 19, 2013
Prince has a sense of humor
Prince has released a new single and it has some of the best cover art ever! In a surprising demonstration of self-awareness, he went with a shot of Dave Chappelle's classic impersonation of him from The Chappelle Show's segment, "Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories."
This is pure genius. I hope that others will follow Prince's lead and use famous impersonations for their own future releases. Some suggestions:
This is pure genius. I hope that others will follow Prince's lead and use famous impersonations for their own future releases. Some suggestions:
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Get Well Soon
Country music icon and notorious wild man Randy Travis is recovering from brain surgery following a stroke that occurred during a hospitalization for heart failure. The surgery reportedly took longer than expected after doctors encountered an inordinate amount of skull during the procedure.
Travis' illness comes as he's been trying to put his life back together following a series of embarrassing public incidents involving alcohol. Travis pleaded guilty to driving while intoxicated in January following two arrests last year. During the first incident he was found sitting in a parked car in a church parking lot with an empty bottle of wine. The second arrest came after he wrecked his car, stripped down to his birthday suit (not necessarily in that order) and walked into a convenience store and attempted to buy cigarettes. He was required to spend at least 30 days at an alcohol treatment facility.
It’s not clear what type of stroke the singer suffered, but the most common type of stroke is caused by a blood clot that travels to the brain. Since alcohol is known to help heart disease by acting as a blood thinner, it is safe to assume that Travis’ health issues are likely a direct result of his recent sobriety. Hopefully Travis will have a speedy recovery and start hitting the bottle with a vengeance. Apparently, his life depends on it.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Rod Stewart: Steroid 'addiction' shrank my manhood!
Really? You don’t think this outfit affected your manhood at all?
According to the notoriously ripped singer, “I let myself down on tours in the late 80s when I was addicted to steroids.” That is a real quote from this guy:
Did the steroids also shrink his muscles?
Obviously, the steroids were in his shampoo.
Or maybe 'steroids' is just a code word for ice cream.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Bad 25
Though he’s been dead for nearly four years, I still like to stay on top of any happenings in the world of Michael Jackson, which led me to this article on Bad 25.
Reading that article made me think that I might be having a stroke. Instead, it appears to be more along the lines of the Newsradio episode "Super Karate Monkey Death Car".
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