Madison Rising

People are saying they performed the worst national anthem ever.

They are obviously just saying that because they hate black people...

...and hillbillies...

Hank the Bigfoot

I guess everyone has seen the ridiculousness/awesomeness of Rick Dyer's Bigfoot tour. I don't know what to think of this nonsense. 800 people showed up to a Sunday show and there were two more sold out shows in Houston the past two nights. Assuming that the other shows will accommodate at least as many people as the first, at $20 a person, that is over $45K this guy has made off of Houstonians who want to look at a paper mache monster. And that doesn't even count any of the merchandise sales.

The guy is providing a service for people who want to pay money to look at a monster, but with his story of luring the beast in with some Walmart ribs and shooting it, is he guilty of some sort of fraud? I say that assuming that the thing is a fake (which it certainly appears to be). In fact, he should hope that it is a fake since if it were real, the charge against him might be murder. After all, this is a humanoid creature he has on display.

I guess the part that is bothering me the most is why this current tour is so successful. Dyer himself was caught amidst a fake Bigfoot scandal less than 10 years. Numerous others have participated in some form of hoax as well. So, why is everyone so eager to see this one?  Is it simply because of the awareness?  I have seen stories about this Bigfoot tour from many different news outlets. Why have they decided to cover this one and essentially help line the pockets of a known huckster? How did he get them to help in his bidding? The power of media is a sight to behold.

The Marius Paradox

A Denmark zoo shot a giraffe in the head, chopped it up in front of a group of children and their parents before feeding it to the zoo's lions because they did not have room for another giraffe. Bengt Holst, director of research and conservation at Copenhagen Zoo, said the giraffe was 2 years old, and while he was not officially named, his keepers had called him Marius to identify him (which is officially what names are for).

Holst declared that the zoo staff saw it as a learning opportunity because zoos have an obligation "not to make nature into a Disney World," but rather show those interested in "the real thing." If that's the case, why not just turn Marius loose in the lion pen? Kids would learn more about nature by watching how a lion takes down a giraffe, rather than watching the Copenhagen zoo's glorified butcher do his work.

Several zoos volunteered to take Marius in, but "it is not possible to transfer the giraffe to another zoo as it will cause inbreeding," Holst said. Apparently because only zoos that follow certain rules can be part of international breeding programs. In Europe, these are members of the European Association of Zoos and Aquaria, and under its rules, inbreeding among giraffes is to be avoided. So, the zoo can only deal with other zoos in its network, but because of that rule they can't let them breed?  So how/why was Marius born in the first place if they knew they didn't have room for him and couldn't move him to one of their other zoos?

Zoo spokesperson, Stenbaek Bro, said his zoo had turned down offers from other ones to take Marius and an offer from a private individual who wanted to buy the giraffe for 500,000 euros ($680,000). He said a significant part of EAZA membership is that the zoos don't own the animals themselves, but govern them, and therefore can't sell them to anyone outside the organization that doesn't follow the same set of rules. This raises the question, if they don't own the animals, what right do they have to kill it?

The EAZA said some institutions that offered to take Marius were ruled out because they did not meet the organization's strict protocols, and the Copenhagen Zoo wouldn't send Marius to an institution with "lesser standards of welfare."

It's odd that they think that killing it would be in the animal's best interests over sending it somewhere without top-notch facilities. If you could ask the giraffe, I'm sure it would have been fine living in a second-rate zoo instead of getting shot in the head and fed to lions for the amusement of some kids.

I don't have any real problem with what happened here. It's just that every explanation seems to either contradict something else the zoo has said, or other logical alternatives. Obviously, the zoo likes to have cute baby animals born on their premises in order to bring in hordes of families and discards them when the newness and cuteness wears off. It seems that the EAZA or Copenhagen Zoo could have done quite a bit of education/conservation/preservation etc. with $680,000. It would also buy quite a bit of beef for their lions.

Naked man tries to eat teen's face

A naked man died after being shot by a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s sergeant when he attacked a former New York City police officer, chased a man and his young son and bit a man on the face. Sheriff Ric Bradshaw said at a Tuesday night news conference that the man later died at a hospital but it wasn’t immediately clear whether he died from gunshot wounds or from a medical condition (like excessive loss of blood or a foreign object lodged in his heart).

“The people that he assaulted, starting with the retired NYPD guy, the people that he chased and then the 18-year-old, said this guy had like super human strength,” the sheriff said.“He was obviously on some kind of narcotics to act like this.”

What is going on with drugs these days?  What happened to just getting high? Now the street drugs turn people into cannibals and kill our celebrities while the needle is still in their arm. And how come when they get high they automatically turn into cannibal zombies? How come you never hear about somebody getting high and getting super-human strength and then lifting a car off somebody in an accident? Why do they have to use their Junkie Superhero status for evil instead of good?

Talk about a left turn

Especially if it’s a freshly made Mexican dinner dripping in grease and smothered in cheese.

Subway has a new enchilada and Frito sandwich. I'll let that sink in for a minute.

I thought their pitch was always about eating healthy. That monstrosity seems like something I would have invented while trying to clean out the refrigerator of leftovers in order to make room for a vodka-filled watermelon. I guess their new angle is the convenience of taking a meal that you would normally have to eat with utensils and stuffing it in some bread so you can eat it with your hands. Next month will be a fettuccine Alfredo sandwich.

Subway Employee:  Welcome to Subway, how can I help you? 

Customer: I want a footlong enchilada and Frito sandwich. 

Subway employee slaps a mound of enchilada slop on a 12” bun and pours a bag of Fritos on top. 

Subway Employee:  Ok, sir, what toppings would you like on it? 

Customer: Meatballs. 

That customer then proudly tells everyone at the office that he had Subway for lunch. 

Sensationalize much?

Federal agents say they have shut down two alleged human smuggling rings.

Cruelty?

William Buchman's Santa Ana neighbors had been complaining for a while about the dreadful smell coming from his home. The neighbors' complaints of the overwhelming stench prompted an investigation by the Department of Animal Services. A raid on the house uncovered the source of the odor... vast numbers of snakes -- some alive, most of them dead and decaying. Mice and rats were also in abundance.

According to the article, the snakes appeared to have not been fed in a while, yet the story said there were also numerous mice and rats in the house. I assume the rodents were intended to be food for the snakes, so why wasn't he feeding them?  He has two types of animals --snakes and rodents-- in his house that any normal person would want out immediately. One of them eats the other, so why on earth would he not allow (or force) that to happen?

But the real issue I have with this story is the guy being arrested. If they had walked into that house and every one of those snakes had its head cut off, there would have been no issue. He could have said they escaped and he feared for his life. I seriously don't think anything would have happened to him.  Even with the story presented as it was, I don't think he should have received more than a citation. Nobody who owns an animal should starve it out, but these are snakes, not dogs or cats (or horses).  I think laws should treat snakes and fish a little differently than other animals.

Every ant in every ant farm ultimately starves to death. Why is it ok for that to happen? Is that different than pouring salt on a slug?  Is that a crime, too? What if I catch a fish and throw it on a river bank and let it suffocate? Is that a criminal act?  Where can I find these laws just so I know what is acceptable and what isn't.

"Just once in college"

Last week, Conner Mertens, a 19-year-old red-shirt freshman kicker for Willamette (Ore.) University football team told his coach that he is bisexual and that he has a boyfriend. And on Monday he  announced it to the rest of the world in the name of helping and inspiring other LGBTI athletes, students, and people like him. According to outsports.com, no college football player in the United States at any level has come out publicly while still playing, until Mertens.

That’s all fine and good, but I have one quibble with Mertens. If he is gay and wants to help other people like him, why is he labeling himself “bisexual?” He is attracted to other men. He has a boyfriend. Why does he need this qualifier?

“Bisexual” seems to be a label that gay people apply to themselves when they are not fully comfortable with being gay. It is simply a more esoteric group and gives the impression that he doesn’t want to be labeled “gay." Why not be all-encompassing and just embrace your gayness? If you are going to make this statement with the “bisexual” safety net, why make it at all? And if he is uncomfortable with being gay, why should the rest of the populace feel any different?