Snakes & Sparklers

Those are the only fireworks allowed.

According to the Item:

     It is prohibited to sell, detonate or in any way use fireworks classified as

     “skyrockets with sticks” or “missiles with fins” in Walker County. All 

     fireworks are prohibited in the Huntsville and New Waverly city limits.

You just eliminated everything good!  Way to lame up a great holiday.

And while you are lighting your cache of the lamest fireworks known to man, here are a few of the safety precautions the paper has decided to share.  This list was obviously put together by someone who has never used fireworks. 

   • Always read and follow label directions.
   • Discharge the fireworks on a flat surface.
   • Never re-light a “dud” firework (wait 15 to 20 minutes and then soak it

        in a bucket of water).
   • Never throw or point fireworks at other people.
   • The shooter should always wear eye protection and never have any part

        of the body over the firework.
   • Light only one firework at a time.

   • Never experiment or make your own fireworks.

If you follow those rules, what is the point of buying fireworks?  Instead of lighting fuses, why not just set your money on fire?  I promise you it is more fun than watching this: